Happiness

I know where happiness is found… It is found on the mat, and after a good sweat. It is not found at the end of overdoing, or in only putting others first. It is found on the dance floor, and in the music that pulls you in. It’s not found in worry or control. It’s found in letting go, and in leaning in. It’s not found at the bottom of the bottle or bag of chips, while it can sometimes be found in a little of both. It’s found in connection, and not in isolation. It’s found in creating space around me, and slowing down when things move too fast. It’s not found in saying yes when I want to say no. It’s found in lyrics that read like story and sing like song. It’s found in spaces and places where I can just be me. It’s found with people who feel like home. Happiness is found where time stands still, and inhibition fades. It’s found by the ocean, and in the salt air. It’s found where there is love and passion. It is not found in perfection. It’s found in pyjamas at the end of a long day. It’s found in a weekend without plans, and in a plan-filled weekend. Happiness is found in dancing on tables, and traveling with friends. It’s found in shared history and experience. It is not found in wanting to always be right, or refusing to forgive. It’s found in helping, and in accepting that I don’t always have to. It’s not found in thinking I am responsible for everything, but rather being responsible for myself. It’s found in my children’s smiles, and my husband’s gaze. It’s not found in the expectation that these alone should sustain me. It’s found in listening to Maya sing or strum her guitar. It’s found in watching Marisol dance and seeing her on stage. It’s found in a house full of teenagers, and in being alone. It’s found in adventure, and new experiences. It’s found in being taken care of, and taking good care. It’s found in routine and good habits. It’s found in a living a life of purpose, and having a career I love. It is found in family by choice and by blood. Happiness is found in the here and now, and the then and there. In the savoring and remembering. Happiness is found in writing it out to taste life twice. Happiness is the click of the keyboard, and the ink of the pen. Happiness is not mourning the passing of time, but rather celebrating as it passes. Happiness is loving myself more now than I did even a decade ago. Happiness is 50 years loved, and not 50 years old. This is happiness.