Not Always, but Forever

I have not always known you, or loved you,
and while these past 11 years are chalk full of memories, they still do not equal a lifetime.

Despite the brevity of our history, its depth is profound. I am so grateful for November 5th 1964. A sad and happy day like most days that matter.

I cannot imagine what that day felt like for our mom and dad.
I cannot understand what it may have meant to you.
But I can picture what it meant to Norm and Doreen…
What it has always meant to Michael.
They are your always Kitty.
Loving every version of you from baby Kathryn, to the amazing woman you grew to be.

Doug has had his own always with you, as have your three incredible kids.

How amazing now that Marissa gets a forever with Rachel, and with you as her grandma.

We both know about love and family that time matters, but it does not measure.

I met you when you were exactly the age I am now…. A fact that while hard to believe, means too much to forget.

At 49, you were already so many things to so many people.

Already a wife to Doug, and mother to Rachel, Joseph, and Isabel.
Already a sister to your loving brother.
Already a daughter to Norm and Doreen.
Already a friend and colleague.
Already loving many as your own, with an open door and open heart.

You lived a whole life before we found you, and it’s one that I am so grateful for.
I am so thankful that you always had love, and that what we brought was but a bonus.
That mom could be #2 Mom, and Dad a loving second father.
That we could be extras in your story.
I get to love you now, and spend forever making sense of it all.

Thank you to you and Linda for letting peace fill spaces where loss once lived.

Thank you for helping Tim, PJ and I to grieve by being another piece of mom and dad that remains. Thank you for being there through some of the saddest and happy days of these past 11 years.

I know I love my brothers differently than I love you.
They are my always.
Just as Mike is yours.

I know the grief of losing our parents is different too. You and Linda lost your moms and dads long before meeting ours. I pray that somehow they know how grateful we all are to have been given this second act.

I will never ever know you the way your always family has. And while just over a decade of discovery has felt like always, it is not that. It is something else.

You are my sister Kitty, and I love you in a way that still surprises me.
You are my sister.
Not always, but forever…

Happy 60th birthday Kathryn.
Your always and forever families are so glad you were born. I am as grateful for your first 49 years, as I am for all the years I get to live with you now.